Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Ninety-Two

I wake up writing. I often wake up whilst writing in my head. I literally come to consciousness half way through a sentence. I can’t remember what this morning’s was, but the other day I had a dilly about a ‘pervasive human wind’. It was so vivid and insistent that I thought it was aContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Ninety-Two”

Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Eighty-Six.

I woke up this morning and the Scottish sky was translucent outside my window and the sun was pale and delicate and my lurchers were gazing at me as if I were Dorothy Parker and Jane Austen and Maya Angelou all rolled into one. (Actually, now I come to think of it, perhaps they wereContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Eighty-Six.”

Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Eighty-Four.

The news grows dark again as talk is of the second wave and lockdown in Scotland is tightened and everyone goes about with their faces creased in concern, not sure what the future holds. I’ve been working hard to process my other griefs, the ones that don’t make headline news. I miss my stepfather keenly.Continue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Eighty-Four.”

Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Twenty-Seven.

On Sunday morning, not long after six o’clock, my stepfather died. He had, as Dylan Thomas recommended, raged against the dying of the light. He fought hard but, in the end, he went gentle into that good night. His son and daughter were with him and they were the ones who called to tell me.Continue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and Twenty-Seven.”

Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and One.

One of the most curious paradoxes in life is that the more you give, the more you get. I understand this intellectually. I write about it quite often, especially in my horse pages. (My red mare has her own Facebook page, because she is far to magnificent to be confined to her Scottish field. SheContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day One Hundred and One.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Ninety-Nine.

I haven’t written this diary for a hundred years and the critical voices in my head tell me that I should apologise to you for that, but I know perfectly well that you are grown-ups and you are doing life too and you understand how this works. I’m sitting in my room and Darwin theContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Ninety-Nine.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-Seven.

A friend and I are talking on the telephone. We come to the end of the conversation. I say, ‘See you tomorrow.’ See you tomorrow. This is the first time I have said that in sixty-seven days. Actually, that is not quite true. I have written it in a message to the farrier and spokenContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-Seven.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-Five.

Yesterday, I felt too miserable to write. Everything was supposed to be better. Everything was supposed to be sorted out. All the questions were supposed to be answered. We Britons were supposed to, in the words adored by the political class, move on. And everything just got worse. There was shouting. The Twitter pile-on started,Continue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-Five.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-Two.

At 5.02pm, the Prime Minister started to address the nation. At 5.04pm, Twitter exploded. Even the official Civil Service account went rogue, as if all the Sir Humphreys had finally had enough.  I don’t have any good words for this, and words are my business. I spent yesterday trying so hard to be sensible andContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-Two.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-One.

A while ago, I instituted an internet rule. If someone in public life annoyed the hell out of me, I would not mention them by name. If I had to write about the annoyance, in order for my brain not to explode, I would say ‘a political operative’ or ‘a famous television person’. This hasContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Sixty-One.”