love – Tania Kindersley

The Other Loves

I read something about love. (There is a book out, apparently.) I feel the familiar stir of rage. It’s not because of love; I love love. It’s because the old, old assumptions are there, lurking beneath the lines, between the lines, sometimes right in the lines. The assumption that makes me crossest is that somehowContinue reading “The Other Loves”

21st April, 2021. All the Deaths.

I remember, early on in the pandemic, as the fatal numbers climbed, thinking of all the deaths. There were times when my own daily life was pretty much all right: I could get out in the open air, I could see my mares, I could do my work. But I could never become one ofContinue reading “21st April, 2021. All the Deaths.”

23rd March, 2021. A Sad Day.

One of my oldest and dearest friends sends a short message. His sister has died. His words break my heart. My heart breaks for his broken heart, for the broken hearts of all her beautiful family, for the broken hearts of all the people she touched in her life, which was not long enough. IContinue reading “23rd March, 2021. A Sad Day.”

4th January, 2021. Midnight and Bridget.

I got a little bamboozled over the weekend. The whole point of this new diary – and this new year and this new resolution – was that it would not be predicated on the lockdown. It would not be doom and gloom and pandemic and we are all going to die. It was going toContinue reading “4th January, 2021. Midnight and Bridget.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Two Hundred and Eighteen.

I start to think that all that matters is love. I mean all the loves. I mean the big loves. I mean the loves that can change minds and move mountains. I mean those loves that let you know that you are not alone, that it is all worth it, that you can hang onContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Two Hundred and Eighteen.”

Racing Post: Enable, Part Two.

By this time tomorrow, we shall know whether Enable has galloped into the history books, or whether she is on her way back to Newmarket, honourable in defeat. What is sure is that if she is defeated, she will go down with honour. Enable doesn’t have a bad day. She is sometimes beaten by aContinue reading “Racing Post: Enable, Part Two.”

Racing Post, 2nd October, 2020: Enable.

‘Out in the world,’ I say to my girls, ‘there is a horse called Enable.’ They look at me out of the corners of their eyes, half interested, half wary. They know that when I speak a sentence like that, there is usually a story on the way. They also know that my stories areContinue reading “Racing Post, 2nd October, 2020: Enable.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Ninety-Nine.

I haven’t written this diary for a hundred years and the critical voices in my head tell me that I should apologise to you for that, but I know perfectly well that you are grown-ups and you are doing life too and you understand how this works. I’m sitting in my room and Darwin theContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Ninety-Nine.”

Lockdown Diary: Day Twenty

Rather to my surprise, I had the most gentle, sweet, solitary Easter. I didn’t look at the news. I stayed in my own small, precious world. I had Scotland, and the dogs and the horses, and the voices of old friends on the telephone. It was beautiful. And I felt profoundly, profoundly grateful.

Lockdown Diary: Day Nineteen.

A friend calls. She calls the lockdown the lockup, which for some reason makes me laugh. ‘All this lockup,’ she says. She tells me about her great-aunt, who kept bantams during the war. ‘They lived in trees,’ she said, ‘so she didn’t need a coop or anything.’ She tells me about her grandmother, who usedContinue reading “Lockdown Diary: Day Nineteen.”